Thursday, February 07, 2013

My approach to keeping emotional control while playing poker

1. Remind yourself of your goal

Your goal most of the time is to get your opponent to put his money into the pot with the worst hand. If this happens, you win. Logically speaking you can only get a “bad beat” if you had the best hand when the money went in, and lost. Therefore a bad beat is an indication that you achieved your goal. Getting mad at factors beyond your control such as turns & rivers is irrational, pathetic, and wastes mental energy. Remind yourself of this.

2. Don’t argue with your opponent

When your opponent plays a hand badly and wins, it’s tempting to make a comment that may spark a small argument. This has no value. Your goal at the table is take money from the inferior, not to educate them. Also realize your desire to make a critical comment is impulsive and based purely in ego, and not based in any real desire to help anyone. Remind yourself of your goal (Point #1). Getting into a debate directly after losing a hand will only ignite a hotter burning tilt since bad players have fallacious views of what good poker playing is. Think of your opponents like mentally handicapped people, or children - if a child says something stupid like ‘when i grow up i want to be the moon’ you wouldn't get upset and get into a debate over this right? You’d just pat them on the head and go “That’s cute” - Take this approach to your opponents. Don’t waste mental energy in sparking ego battles with idiots. Treat them like children not worthy of serious conversation. Reserve mental energy to invest in your game.


3. Change your views on what ‘being mad’ means

People pride themselves in having a level of control over many things in life: money, eating habits, ability to wake up and go to work etc. For example, having control over your financial life is a sign of adulthood, and not buying into stupid marketing scams is apart of that. If you were sitting on a bench with a stranger, and a guy in a blue suite approach you both with a sales pitch: “I have this watch, 90% off! I’m selling it for ONLY $300!” - You decline but the other guy goes “wow! 90% off, thats amazing” and buys it. You would look at him like “What a fool, he just let a random person dupe him into a silly watch”

Now imagine you’re sitting on a bench with a stranger, and a random person came up and said “Wow, look at you guys, you look like losers.” It wouldn't be strange to expect the guy next to you to get all pissed, and maybe let it ruin his entire day. Nobody will look down on this, but you should. He let a random person who means nothing to him completely control his emotional state with statements based on nothing. He was ‘duped’ into allowing a stranger to control his emotional state. The same way that the watch pitch was from a random person with statements based on nothing. There’s nothing more intimate than your own thoughts & emotions, and getting upset over the words of strangers, or the effect of random causes, is allowing people and things to have a huge amount of control over you. This is pathetic, and should be viewed as pathetic.

Looking at tilt in this light, the idea of ‘being mad’ about the river, or an inferior opponent, is a pathetic sign of a weakness and lack of mental control. Change this type of behavior to be seen the same as a baby crying because he ate his last gummy bear and wants more. Strive to be nonreactive.

4. Conscious breaths & being present

This is a little ‘out there’ but it’s a practice I’ve come to love as a means to reduce anxiety. The idea is to ‘get out of your head’ and be in a state where you’re present to the moment, and come close to a state where you’re not thinking but being.

Stare at one spot that contains no words. Take a deep breath in and out, and put all of your focus on the sensation of the air going in and out of your chest. Try to not think. Imagine that your negative thoughts & emotions are clouds in front of your face, and with each breath they’re being blown away. Put your focus into your feet, bring your attention to how they feel against your shoes etc. Then legs, arms, neck etc. All of this while taking conscious breaths. After a few minutes of doing this you’ll find you’re more calm and less anxious over whatever was in your mind. Do this while on tilt. (See The Power of Now / A New Earth )

This is easy to make fun of, but I’ve come to use this in lots of areas in life and can honestly say it’s helped (dealing with co-workers, approaching hot girls, dealing with a headaches etc).

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