Women & Phantom Feedback

One of the most unique things about women & dating is the complete lack of genuine feedback you get when making mistakes. In most things in life, making a mistake will result in some form of feedback - think about it: In archery you see where the arrow goes, and how far it is from the target. In sales, if you sell a bad product, customers will return it with an earful of reasons why they are not happy. In comedy, if you tell a bad joke nobody laughs.


It’s only with women you get virtually no feedback on making a mistake. The only feedback you may get will be a gentle lie to salvage your feelings, or to reduce guilt in her mind. If a girl is turned off by something she’ll rarely tell you - even at the risk of it being a misunderstanding - she’ll simply stop responding, or lie to you.

It’s like having this deep burning longing to hear a song you don’t know how to play on the piano. You sit down and the piano will only play the note if you hit the right note at the right time - if you hit the wrong note no sound comes out at all. You randomly hit a key, and nothing. You try again, and nothing. On your 28th try “Ding.”

You get excited and hit the same key again but nothing. “What the hell?” You later realize this piano will only make a sound if you hit the right key in the right order.

This would be eternally frustrating. You have no notes, no feedback on what keys make what sound, and only hear anything if you play the notes in perfect order.

This agonizing reality about women is why many average guys will throw their hands up, and channel their desire for love with porn or harassing an ex girlfriend. They are left in the dark with no clue why she won’t text them back, or why she flaked. Being porn addicted & anti-social in response only adds to the problem, making them even worse than before.

Of course some men find excitement in the puzzle, or develop a competitive ego based desire to figure out how to play the notes and continue. They smile as they come close, and hear the beautiful song.

From a woman’s perspective none of this is known. All she knows is there’s creepy guys and cool guys, but puts little thought into why. She meets a “cool” guy and thinks “I like him, he’s relaxed, keeps eye contact and makes me laugh” - when in reality he may just be the product of an ocean of rejections, flakes, tears, scars, and lessons all in the name of putting together life’s most frustrating but rewarding puzzle.