Asian Girls Are Easy?

In the past few years I’ve heard friends and peers mention “Asian girls are easy.” It’s something I’ve always rolled my eyes at, mostly because I know it’s said for silly reasons. I wanted to write my thoughts on the subject, and why I feel not only are Asian girls not easy, but harder in many cases. All of this is based on my experience approaching, dating, and interacting with Asian girls.

What I mean by “easy” - in this context “easy” means: 1. Not difficult to approach, date, and seduce. I do not mean slutty or promiscuous.

Who cares? Before I begin my case refuting the popular claim that “Asian girls are easy,” I want to first ask - why does it matter? Everyone wants different things in life, and some paths to success are easier or more difficult. Some could argue learning Chinese is ‘harder’ than learning Spanish, but if you really want to learn Chinese - go for it.

All of us should want different things out of life, and the only focus should be how to get what we want. Something isn't better if it’s “harder” to get - especially with love or dating. Many try to argue that Asian girls are easy to undermine another person's progress, but does “harder” equal “better”?

It’s common to hear “Ha, asian girls are easy, try going for Latinas” or “be a real man and try to date Russian girls” - Who cares? Someone could easily say “be a real man and date women in prison” or “Latinas are easy, try approaching girls with down syndrome!” It’s ridiculous.

ASIAN GIRL TYPES

The term ‘Asian girls’ is really general, and I feel any discussion on patterns and behaviors should be in the context of the 4 primary ‘types’ that exist.

Type A: Fully Westernized - This would be an Asian girl who was not only born in the west, but her family or legal guardians are completely westernized. A girl who was adopted, or whose parents are second or third generation immigrants.

Type B:  Westernized - This would be an Asian girl who was born in the west, but whose parents, family, or other cultural influences have instilled values, customs, language, etc., into her. An example would be a girl was born into the US, speaks perfect English and has a complete understanding of western culture but whose parents do not. Another example would be a girl who’s born in the US, but whose family teach her non-western values.

Type C:  Native / West infatuate - This would be an Asian girl who was born in the east, but who has an openness or an attraction to western culture/people. This would be a girl for example who is mostly attracted to people from the west. Another example would be a girl who is highly interested in western culture or learning English.

Type D:  Fully Easternized - This would be an Asian girl who’s born in Asia, speaks the language, and is completely culturally in alignment with her native country. An example would be a girl who’s only been in the US for a few weeks (FOBs), or a girl who lives in Korea, only speaks Korean and has no non-Korean friends.



All Asian girls fit somewhere in this scale, and some may even fit between in two categories. This is why the claim “Asian girls are x” is myopic and stereotypical. In the same way that saying “Black people are X” would be shortsighted due to the existence of Native Africans vs African Americans.

FOUR BIG BARRIERS OF ENTRY

I want to list four common obstacles that come with approaching/dating asian girls that really challenge the whole idea that they’re “easy”

1. Language Barriers: Although it’s not always the case, anyone who’s approached or attempted to date Asian girls has been faced with language barrier issues. Language is something all of us take fully for granted, and attempting to approach, date, or seduce a girl who speaks little or *no* english is the furthest thing from ‘easy’ imaginable.

Communicating with another person who does not speak your language, or speaks it poorly is a challenging task that even guys who are very good with girls will struggle with. Talking slowly, removing words (like determiners), and using non-verbal communication (facial expression, pointing) adds an entire level of challenges. These challenges can be common with Asian girls, and is a virtual certainty with native Asian girls. 

The mere existence and frequency of language barriers is evidence that approaching/dating Asian girls is more difficult, not “easier”.

2. Cultural Barriers: Not all Asian cultures are the same, but most have commonalities that are similar or consistent in most. Views on sex, status, interracial dating, affection in public, marriage, humor and even talking to strangers can all be very different in type B, C & D Asian girls. An example of this would be in Korea heavy eye contact can be considered rude, and thus giving a girl eye contact may cause anxiety instead of attraction. Another example of this would be kissing or hugging in public is considered taboo in Japan; even established couples may not do it.

When approaching/dating white girls for example, heavy eye contact, flirty touching, sexual humor, and even kissing in public are rarely a problem - all of these are common things between two fully westernized white people.

The more conservative/traditional cultural barriers is evidence that approaching/dating Asian girls is more difficult, not “easier”.

3. Shame & Self-Image Barriers: This, in my opinion, is the most challenging reality of approaching and dating Asian girls. In the east, girls have extreme pressure to ‘appear’ pure, clean, polite, and innocent. In Asia there’s a lot of shame surrounding intimacy is so damaging and dysfunctional some countries population is even declining (link).

Many Asian girls are programmed to suppress their interest in sex and intimacy, hide it, or deny it. If they display or admit at all that they want, or even like sex or touch they risk being seen as a “slut” - in Japan a “bitch” or in China/HK a “public toilet.” Their sense of self is at risk, and their reputation is at risk if they show an interest in sex.

Disturbing examples of this are girls: spontaneously crying after kissing me for the first time, then holding me crying saying “i want kiss but feel shame,” or girls telling stories over fear of friends talking about them, hurting their reputation. Other examples include girls covering their faces after sex or kissing, admitting they really enjoy it but feel bad as if they committed a crime.

Most of this shame comes from sexually frustrated men who take out their inner sadness on women by shaming them. Asian men shame women on sex in the same way that a fat ugly girl will shame a beautiful girl for “dressing slutty,” when the reality is she’s jealous and sad that she’s not beautiful, and a quick way to reduce the pain is by inventing a story in her head that she’s just a slut who dresses slutty. Any self-aware man who was once really bad with women knows that shaming women for their sexuality is a way to deal with the frustration of not being a part of it. Accepting the fact that you’re just a lonely confused guy is too hard, so it’s just easier to rationalize that the girl kissing her boyfriend in the street is just a slut. A Japanese man will browse a porn dvd store, go home and masturbate all day, then walk outside and see a girl kissing me and instantly go “This girl should be ashamed for liking sex” - it’s pure hypocrisy and insanity.

The shame surrounding sex and affection is evidence that approaching/dating Asian girls is more difficult, not “easier.”

4. Extreme Shyness & Social Anxiety: In many parts of the east, talking to a stranger is taboo and even scary. Take a ride on a train in Korea or Japan - pure silence. In many parts of Asia, there’s a lot of anxiety surrounding talking to strangers, and because of this most never really develop the social muscles needed to meet new people. In the United States, if two strangers are walking by each other, it’s common to say “hello,” “good morning,” or “how are you!” - not doing so is even seen as rude. Talking to strangers is normal.

When attempting to approach or date Asian girls, often you will run into this. It’s not that they don’t like you, it’s that they have no practice talking to strangers and it’s outside of their reality. Even when a girl really likes you, her automatic response may be negative.

The social anxiety and shyness often found in asian girls  is evidence that approaching/dating Asian girls is, once again, more difficult, not “easier.”

Real Life Example: Tokyo Makeup Artist (Type D)

Walking on the Santa Monica Pier I see this really cute girl looking at the water.. I decide to talk to her

me:  $100 and i’ll jump...
her: *looks at me with blank stare*
me: Hello?
her: *scared look* Hello.

Right away I can tell she’s a Type C or D who likely speaks little or no English. If I were to simply talk to in English with no adjustments at all, she’s almost certainly just give me the “FOB Flinch” nod “No, sorry” and walk away. I opened with a joke, which she obviously did not get. If this was a white girl who spoke english, the interaction would have started good not weird. After literally 2 seconds I am faced with a set of challenges that make this interaction “harder” than if it was a white girl.

me: *shifts in Type C/D Mode* Cute. *points her at*
her: *smile* Thank you!
me: What’s your name?

Texting her, and planning our date was even more challenging. At one point I decided not to even talk to her, it seemed a little pointless since the language barrier was so thick. I decided to do it just for fun though, more to see how hard it would be. I spoke in broken English as well as translated it into japanese. I ended up dating her casually for a few months, and ran into every “barrier” listed above. None of this was “easy” at all.

The REAL reasons people say “Asian girls are easy”

1. Confusion Over “Good Reactions” vs “Conversion” Many make the false connection that if a girl’s laughing, smiling, and talking to a guy then she is attracted to him, and likely to date him. I call this the difference between “reaction” and “conversion.” Reaction is the way a girl reacts to you when first meeting, and conversion is when a girl you meet ‘converts’ into a date, or intimacy. Now all girls are different, but Asian girls can struggle with being mean, or ‘impolite’ in a social interaction. Being told to “fuck off” is way more likely to happen with a hot white/Latina girl in a social environment, even Type A Asian girls have no problems being blunt and honest with a guy they don’t like - Type B/C/D however may have cultural influences that make it harder for them to be rude, mean, or cold to people.

If you’re a massive observer, you may interpret an Asian girl’s positive reactions as an indication that they’re “easy” - this is false.

I’ve had many examples of girls who laughed, smiled, talked for 15 minutes, and even agreed to meet again only to be blocked within minutes of walking away. (Some chat apps tell you if you’re blocked) Now the ignorant observer may look at this and go “Wow, he just walked up to her and now she’s laughing and smiling, he’s so lucky, he’s going to meet her again” - Again confusion over ‘reaction’ vs ‘conversion’.

2. Ego and Unconscious Jealousy - It’s human nature to invent stories and rationalizations on why others succeed that make us feel better about ourselves. When an average guy is holding hands with a really cute girl, it’s almost automatic that other men will speculate that it’s because he’s rich, famous, or she’s using him to get something. Rarely do you ever hear “Wow, that guy must be really cool and funny to get her, good for him.”

Our ego is hurt when we see people with a life we secretly want, and we invent stories to allow us to feel less pain in facing the reality that we’re not getting what we want. It’s easy to just say “well, he’s rich..thats why he has that hot girl, if I was rich I would have her too, so I no longer feel pain and jealousy”.

In the case of claiming Asian girls are easy, it rarely comes from someone who is attracted to Asian girls, or has dated many. Most of the time it’s from someone who needs a mental story as a way to rationalize why another person has the dating life they want, or a way to undermine their progress or happiness. Even if a man does not like asian girls, all men want to date girls they’re attracted to, and seeing another man doing just that, will cause the ego to feel pain.

3. Asian Male Shaming - A strange source of hate over Asian girls comes from Asian men. Asian men, especially those who are shy or lack confidence, are quick to wag their finger at Asian girls and shame them for being friendly to non-Asians. Like the example I gave earlier, it’s easy for ugly girls to shame pretty girls for dressing slutty as a way to feel less bad about themselves - it’s easy for an Asian male to call Asian girls slutty for being friendly as a way to feel less bad over being confused on how to relate with women.

Many Asian men have a lot of resentment towards asian women is really their own sexual frustration being transferred into anger and judgement.

WHY I WASTED MY TIME WRITING THIS

Ultimately all that matters is having a an idea of what you want in your life and going for it - what others think whether good or bad should never changed that too much. In this case, the sheer number of people making this claim moved me to give my thoughts on the matter. It was more of a 'get it off my chest' type of thing than a 'let me show them!' type of thing.

Either way, there ya go.. blah! travel folders 6QKY*9DD*RPg$%tsKd@3